River guides are a special breed. They are nomadic creatures – shunning social conventions in favor of the call of the river. They accept a life of sore backs, sunburnt skin, toe-liosis, and random jobs in the off-season in order to work and play in some of the most beautiful terrain on earth. This lifestyle attracts a certain kind of person; equal parts adept, charismatic, and ridiculous. The boatmen stereotype is an easy one to poke fun at…
How many river guides does it take to screw in a light bulb?
One to screw in the bulb and four to stand around and talk about how gnarly the hole is.
How can you tell a river guide is lying?
Their lips are moving.
What’s the difference between a raft and a raft guide?
You can over tip a raft.
What’s the difference between a river guide and God?
God doesn’t think He is a river guide.
What do you call a river guide in the winter?
You don’t call him. He has no phone.
Why is the Grand Canyon so big?
For the boatman’s head to fit through.