River guides are a special breed. They are nomadic creatures – shunning social conventions in favor of the call of the river. They accept a life of sore backs, sunburnt skin, toe-liosis, and random jobs in the off-season in order to work and play in some of the most beautiful terrain on earth.  This lifestyle attracts a certain kind of person; equal parts adept, charismatic, and ridiculous. The boatmen stereotype is an easy one to poke fun at…

How many river guides does it take to screw in a light bulb?
One to screw in the bulb and four to stand around and talk about how gnarly the hole is.

How can you tell a river guide is lying?
Their lips are moving.

What’s the difference between a raft and a raft guide?
You can over tip a raft.

What’s the difference between a river guide and God?
God doesn’t think He is a river guide.

What do you call a river guide in the winter?
You don’t call him. He has no phone.

Why is the Grand Canyon so big?
For the boatman’s head to fit through.

Hear all these jokes and many, many more from our guides on a Grand Canyon Whitewater rafting trip!